Please Help! “My Father Has Set A Time Limit For Me To Get Married’

Forum 6 years ago

Please Help! “My Father Has Set A Time Limit For Me To Get Married’

Adaeze’s father, a traditional ruler, has given her an ultimatum to get married in six months of he would disown her for bringing shame to him.


My name is Adaeze, a 38-year-old single lady from the eastern parts of Nigeria.

I like the way you guys treat letters sent in by your readers and I hope mine would be an exception.

I have a problem that is threatening to tear me apart from my family because of an ultimatum my father gave me in December that I must get married by June this year or he would cut all the ties that bind us.

It is not that I do not desire to get married and settle down with my family but the problem is that most men I have come across have all been after my money and body and at the end of the day, they all dump me.

I have a very good business where I import interior decoration items from Europe and make supplies to companies, hotels, and high profile homes.

I also have a thriving boutique and beauty parlor in Lekki area of Lagos, so I would say I have been very successful in business but not when it comes to relationships.

I know my problem is that I love emotionally and make sure I share everything with my man and even go to a great length to make him comfortable but in the end, I always have my fingers burnt.

I have cried bitter tears over broken relationships, lamented my fate and as it now, I have made up my mind not to have any serious relationship again.

I would just get pregnant, have one or two kids and move on with my life as I can comfortably take good care of them.

But my father would not allow me to be. Being a traditional ruler in our place, he sees it as an abomination that his first daughter is not married while most of my younger sisters are married with children.

Now he has given me an ultimatum to bring home a husband by the middle of this year or he would disown me.

My worries now are: is it a must for a woman to get married? And should I just take any man to him just so he would be happy?

– Adaeze.”