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Added: Aug 14
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Vampire Hunter (A Twilight Story) - Season 1 - Episode 86
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Source: coolval
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Surrender


I ran through a field in the middle of no where, searching for vampires though I was confident there were none nearby. Felix was about a mile behind me, I was still faster and had been running ahead throughout this entire escapade. We had already found several witnesses: Anselm, Elisa, Adam, Lidia, Milena, Baldomr, Natasa, Nicoleta, and Sabina. Not to mention Johann’s coven in Austria we first went to. I felt a pang of jealousy when I though back to that first meeting. When Aro said Felix was on good terms with them he meant it. Johann greeted Felix like a brother, as did his mate Analiese. This didn’t bother me, it was the other member of their coven that did…Vienna. Her flirtation was through the roof and even though Felix paid no attention to her it made me even more jealous. He was just too popular for his own d--n good! I sighed, of course he didn’t pay attention to her because he had someone, someone by the name of Heidi.

I had tried not to think about that day back at Voltera because it was too painful but I guess I just opened up pandora’s box. I knew I shouldn’t trust a single word that spewed from Heidi’s mouth, she was a manipulator that much I knew. Normally I wouldn’t have but when I had looked into his room I saw with my own eyes. He kissed her back, held her closer as she wound her arms around his neck. Ugh! How can he like that slutty, selfish, self absorbed, tacky, over priced hooker?
A million emotions coursed through me that day. Pain, anger, sadness, confusion, jealousy and betrayal were just some. I don’t think I had the words to properly describe it. I felt betrayed though I had no right to be. Felix wasn’t mine no matter how much I wished it to be true. Though before that moment I thought he could be if I had only confessed how I felt. It was to late now.




To late…at these words I felt my anger glow hot again. Not anger towards Felix, I still desperately and pathetically loved him, but with Heidi and myself. I was so close to dashing into that room and prying her disgusting hands and overly exposed body off him. I would have killed her and enjoyed it. For once I had found myself wishing I was any other newborn vampire so I could have a sound excuse for loosing my head but I wasn’t. I hated this feeling, jealousy. It was not something I had ever experienced, at least not to this magnitude, and it was a horrible way to feel.


I felt most angry with myself. Angry that I didn’t kill her. Angry that I fled like a coward for the first time in my life. Angry that I fell in love with him and angry that I still loved him. Right now I was angry for ignoring him and acting like a child but I wasn’t ready to face him yet. It had been two weeks since we set out to look for witnesses and I had yet to say a full sentence to him or even look him in the eye. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Surely my reaction that day and since then had confirmed what Heidi hinted at. I was completely in love with him. How do you face someone when they know how you feel but don’t feel the same?
I was also angry that I had hurt him, even I could see that. My cold shoulder affected him, I could see on his face when he didn’t know I was looking. He often tried to speak to me, usually several times a day, but I often left or ran faster. I’m surprised he hasn’t stopped trying, give up and call it a day. I didn’t think it was possible but it made me want him more. Felix was a great guy, no an amazing guy. I knew I couldn’t shut him out of my life forever, the idea was too painful. I needed him in my life even if it was only in the role of a…brother. I winced slightly at the thought. I wouldn’t survive in Voltera or in this new life without him. I just needed time to gather the courage and gather myself together…


What happened to me? I used to be so strong and confident, someone who didn’t put these kinds of things off or shy away from them. I used to take the bull by the horns and win, I was good at it. I wanted the old me back, the whole me, the human me, the me whose heart was intact in more ways than one.

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